


Purple Eyes and Snowy Nights

by Kuroi_Majo



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Chatting & Messaging, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Coffee Shops, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Domestic Fluff, F/M, Gay Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Romantic Fluff, Surprises, date
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-05-09 02:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14707262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuroi_Majo/pseuds/Kuroi_Majo
Summary: Thank you for reading this short story about my favourite Paladins^^I wrote this especially for King on the Boys Love//Yaoi Amino as a Christmas present.Maybe I'm going to write a second chapter, but I'm not sure yet, so ...No promises!





	1. Purple Eyes and Snowy Nights

Trembling I sat one foot after the other, my hands in my pockets. It was freezing cold. I should have been already at home, lying on my couch, wrapped up in a cozy blanket, happily sipping on my hot chocolate and surfing in the internet. I’d have nothing else to do, anyway, but now I had to get home first and that wasn’t that easy without a car. My car had broken down halfway and I couldn’t contact a breakdown service. Furthermore, there was no one else I could have contacted. In moments like these I missed my home the most. I’ve moved into this city almost three months ago, because I hoped to be able to make my dreams come true. Before moving I saw my family for only half a year. I would’ve liked to stay with my family, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to move on if I stayed with them. I just had to do this here.

Sighing I stopped and looked up into the dark sky. I watched the beautiful snowflakes falling down, dancing through the night. With a heart full of hope I had come to this city, but now I was standing here during the coldest winter in the dark and was looking for the shortest way to the apartment I couldn’t really call home. It was just an apartment I lived in temporarily. Even though I didn’t know how long ›temporarily‹ meant.  

I pulled up my blue scarf a little bit until it covered my nose again, because it got a little loose and slowly made my way forward. I let my mind wander and somehow it seemed as if the way was longer than it should have been.

Finally at home, I took off my warm gray coat and my blue and gray colored shoes, took a quick shower and nestled down in my blanket, my laptop in my lap. I turned it on and waited for it to finally be useable. After waiting for too long – in my opinion – I went online and opened my favorite chatroom. A smile spread on my face the moment I noticed the small green dot next to his name. Just a second later the first private message popped up.

_»You’re late. I thought you wouldn’t come online anymore today.«_

Grinning and shaking my head I began to type.

_»Even so you were waiting for me, am I right? ;)«_

About a month ago I found this website while surfing and messaged offhandedly a few strangers. I didn’t know why, but the user _RedSamurai_ had drawn my interest. By now he was the only one I still talked to. The conversations with him let me always smile and – it sounded stupid probably, but I really had the feeling that I started to fall in love with him. We had never met before and I didn’t even know his real name, but … I didn’t know how to describe it. There was something between us. I _felt_ it.

A quiet _pling_ brought my focus back to the chat. He had replied.

_»Yeah, sure. In your dreams.«_

As I realized how long he had taken to type those few words I couldn’t keep myself from smirking.

_»Just admit you missed me ;)«_

_»Why were you late today?«_

It was cute how he tried to change the topic. I told him vague what had happened. Afterwards like always we talked about a lot of different things.

_»What are you going to do on Christmas?«_

Speechless I stared at his words. The sudden change of topic from music to Christmas surprised me. I didn’t expect him to ask something like this. However, it wasn’t a topic I liked to talk about.

_»To be honest, I don’t really know. I’d like to spend time with my family, but … Nevermind. I’m going to relax at home probably. What about you? Any big plans?«_

I didn’t know why I mentioned my family but once it was sent I couldn’t change it anyway. A little while I watched the small animated dots, which were a sign that the other person was typing.

_»I wanted to spend time with my brother on Christmas eve, but something came up and he doesn’t have time anymore. That means we both will be alone …«_

I already wanted to think about a reply, when I saw that he was typing again, so I just waited for him to finish, my fingers tapping impatiently on my notebook. He was typing, stopped, was typing and stopped again. A little while I watched the dots until the _pling_ was back.

_»I don’t mind … I mean, if you want to … We could be spending our time with chatting on Christmas eve? I won’t have anything else to do … and you neither, so …«_

A smile spread on my face again and got even bigger than before. A thought crossed my mind, but I didn’t know if it was a good idea or not. I struggled a few minutes with myself. A little bit too long as it seemed. Again, I received a message from him.

_»It was just a suggestion. If you don’t want to it’s okay, too.«_

This message made me want to take a risk. I threw all my doubts overboard and started typing again.

_»How about we meet on Christmas eve? I mean in real life?«_

My fingers were trembling while I clicked on »send«. I knew him only from the internet. All I knew about him was that he lived in the same city as me, liked to drive his motorcycle, had an older brother and that he liked the color red. Of course, I also knew a few other little things I learned about while chatting with him. The thought of meeting him in real was … I didn’t know how to describe it. Somehow, I was really excited and stared a while that seemed like an eternity at his name. No animated dots. Minutes went by without getting a reply from him. Slowly the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I scared him off and I already wanted to apologize for this stupid suggestion when the little dots appeared eventually. _Pling_.

_»Sure, why not? I want to meet you.«_

_»Really?! Good, we’ll meet on Christmas eve at the big fountain in front of the cinema downtown. I’m the tall and handsome guy with a blue scarf and a red Santa hat ;) ;) ;)«_

Giddy with excitement I couldn’t keep myself from writing a long reply. I was in a really, _really_ good mood and the big grin on my face was far away from disappearing. Even as we started to talk about all kinds of things again the smirk on my face stayed.

 

* * *

 

Nervous I played with my fingers and tried to warm them up. Since half an hour ago I was standing here, because I was an idiot who showed up at the meeting point an hour before the time we had agreed on. Like promised I was wearing my blue scarf and a red Santa hat, which was decorated with five red glowing stars.

With my back facing the fountain I was standing in front of a snow-covered bench and looking around me to hopefully spot my date. He should be wearing a warm red coat with a black symbol on his chest. I was so excited to meet him that even the cold didn’t bother me.

More minutes went by and slowly the time we agreed on came closer and closer. Once again, I looked around, but this time there was a person who caught my interest. The smile on my face froze as I noticed the young man with a mullet coming closer. I knew him. I would have recognized that mullet anywhere. The problem was: He looked like my date.

Mullet came closer, his eyes lowered to the ground. Only a few steps away from me he looked up and was obviously just as surprised as me.

»Lance?!«, he blurted out in a low voice. Without saying another word, we looked at each other for a moment. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even expect to be able to see him ever again. My heart seemed like it wanted to break out. It beat so fast. Everything seemed like a dream. That guy, who was standing right in front of me was Keith. The guy, I had had a huge crush on back then in high school and who had disappeared over night.

A whispered »Keith …« left my mouth while I looked at him with wide eyes. I couldn’t say anything else. While the years had gone by, I always wanted to know, what had happened to him. Nobody had known anything.

»Lance … Are you _Sharpshooter_?« He broke the silence. I tried to regain my composure and nodded slowly before I asked nearly the same question. »And you are _RedSamurai_?« Like me before he just nodded as a reply. Something he had said before came to mind and my heart started to beat faster.

»Wait, you … You know my name? I always thought you didn’t even know I exist.« With a surprised face I looked at his slightly blushing face. My mind blamed the cold weather for it, but my heart wanted to believe that it was my doing.

»You …«, he started to speak and looked away. Spellbound I stared at his beautiful purple eyes. »You always tried to be better than me in _everything_. Of course, I noticed you.«

There was this tiny twinkle in his eyes that told me that there was more behind his words, something he hid, but maybe that was just, what I wanted to think. It didn’t matter, anyway. He knew who I was and that was the most important thing. The grin on my face spread again and didn’t want to go away.

»How long have you been waiting here? I’m sure, I’m at least fifteen minutes early.« I snapped back to reality. Keith’s words sounded kind of … concerned? Did I imagine that? Beautiful eyes were looking at me again. I didn’t know what to say, but I wanted to look cool in front of him, not like an idiot who was waiting for him an hour in this cold weather. So, I decided to just tell a little lie.

»I came here like a minute before you did.«, I said with a shrug and looked around. There were more people now than half an hour ago. I spotted a couple a few steps away, probably on a date. When they were out of sight I looked back to my ›date‹ and noticed he was staring at me. Really _staring_. I would even say, he was checking me out? When our eyes met he quickly turned around and started walking. Speechless I stood there watching him go. Had he really been checking me out? Or did I just imagine that? I could feel my hopes rise as a smirk appeared on my face.

Suddenly he turned around with a frown, made a few steps back to where I was standing and grabbed my arm. »Come on, we have to warm you up! You are trembling!« Surprised I stumbled a few steps and looked at his hand. He still wore the same fingerless gloves as in high school. While I was pulled along by him I tried to get a hold of my overflowing feelings and the grin on my face. When he noticed I was really going beside him, his hand disappeared from my arm and left the slight feeling of disappointment.

Just a few seconds later we entered a small coffee shop. It was the first time I was in here, but Keith seemed to know this place very well. He was headed towards a small table in the back of the coffee shop without looking around. I followed him, gazing at his back, until he stopped. Distracted by his broad back I nearly bumped into him. We were standing right in front of a small table with two seats facing each other.

Without a word he took off his coat, hung it over his chair and took a seat. And I … watched him. I just watched him sit down and spaced out. Now, that I had a better view on him I had to admit he looked better than in the old days. No, not just better, gorgeous! He looked much more handsome than in my memory. He looked pretty much the same, but kind of … more mature? He was a lot older than in high school, of course he looked more mature. It’s just he–

»How long are you going to stand there?« A little confused I blinked once or twice until it hit me and I realized I was flat out staring at him. I could feel my face redden in embarrassment as I quickly took off my coat and took a seat myself. If I had been in my right mind I would have just said something, but I wasn’t and that was the problem. Seeing Keith just like that right in front of my very own eyes was … like a miracle. It had been years since the last time I had seen him. I was just … I didn’t even know what I was thinking. It was like … finally finding something you thought were lost long ago.

»What’s that? Keith Kogane has a date? Unbelievable! What’s ya name, _loverboy_?« The sudden voice of a person standing right beside our table startled me. Slowly I looked up to see a tall blonde guy with a smirk eying me in curiosity, a notebook and pen in one hand and the other on his hip.

»Shut up, Rolo! This is _not_ a date and he is _not_ my › _loverboy_ ‹! Just take our orders and fuck off!« Annoyance was clearly heard in Keith’s voice. His words sent a shot to my heart and I could feel all my hopes crumble down in the blink of an eye. I looked away from this smirking guy to focus on my hands, lying loosely on the table. Wearing a forced smile to hide my shattered hopes. The voices and clattering around me grew slowly to a distant noise while I sunk into deep thought. I should’ve known it. Why would I even _think_ , this gorgeous man would consider this as a date?

Keith was … so out of my league, it hurt. He was right in front of me, but at the same time so far away. He had always been the great Keith Kogane, the best in class, number one in school. And I … I had always been the goofball, the dork who nobody had even considered as serious. Even after Keith had disappeared he had been used as the example of a model student. His name has been brought up nearly every day. It had been really hard for me to get over the fact, that I would never see him again. Even now I just–

A gentle touch on my arm startled me. My eyes went wide in confusion as I saw Keith’s hand brushing against my arm just a moment before he pulled it back. »Everything alright?« He asked in a low voice, concern swinging in his voice and suddenly I got aware of my surroundings again. The clattering and talking around me got louder as I scanned the room. Catching Keith’s gaze at last. His brow furrowed and only now I realized that he had asked me something.

»Y-Yeah … everything’s fine. I just … spaced out a little.« I said glancing back at my hands and fiddling with my scarf which I was still wearing. The cold was slowly climbing its way through my body.

»I’m sorry about Rolo. He’s an acquaintance of mine and … Nevermind. He’s always like this. Just … don’t mind him. To be honest, I didn’t even know he was working today. I thought he had the day off and–«

»I switched shifts with someone.« The sound of this guy’s, Rolo’s, voice interrupted the beautiful but hurting sound of Keith’s. Just a moment later there were two cups placed in front of Keith and me. »By the way, it’s on the house. Enjoy your date!« He said in a strange way and disappeared again. Bewildered I looked back and forth between this guy and the cups until mullet’s voice reached my ears again.

»This is _not_ a date.« He yelled after him, definitely looking mad. Why was I still here? He clearly didn’t like me in _that_ way, but I … I had fallen in love with him twice. The first time when I had seen him and his stupid mullet for the first time running through the hallway of our high school. And the second time … I had not even known who he really was but had still ended up falling in love with him, anyway. What was the point in–

»Sorry, he likes to talk trash at every given occasion.« Taking his cup in both hands he looked at the liquid inside while I tried to get my voice out. »I-I don’t mind. Don’t worry about it.« Lie! I did mind, and it didn’t feel good at all to hear him denying this being a date twice. Absentmindedly I grabbed the cup in front of me with both hands to warm them up a little. I felt still cold as ice. Going back to thinking about this way too much, I raised the cup to my lips and took a sip. My eyes went wide as the taste spread in my mouth. Surprised I looked at the liquid in my cup before I took another sip and only now I realized that I had not ordered anything. This hot chocolate didn’t taste like an ordinary hot chocolate. There was definitely a hint of vanilla in it. A nostalgic feeling spread through my body as I drank a mouthful of the hot liquid, burning my tongue, but drinking anyway. I didn’t expect to find this taste here in this city.

»Did … Did you order this?«, I asked more whispering than anything, without looking at him. »Y-Yeah … Something wrong?« Slowly I shook my head and took another sip. I let my eyes wander around the coffee shop until I spotted the menu right above the counter and there I read three kinds of hot chocolate. An ordinary one, one with vanilla and one with rum. Was this a coincidence or did he know I liked the one with vanilla? But how would he even know that? I didn’t remember ever telling him about this. Maybe I just thought about it too much. Who doesn’t like vanilla, anyway? Yeah, I was definitely just thinking too much.

An awkward silence spread between us. I didn’t know what to say nor could I look at him now. If I had known how this »date« would end up, I would have not suggested meeting at all. Then I could be still lying on my couch chatting with the mysterious _RedSamurai_ and imagining him liking me, too. But now I knew I didn’t have a chance. I knew he didn’t like me in that way. I knew he was the love of my life and that thought was heartbreaking. My heart was pounding against my rib cage. It felt like it wanted to break out at all costs. Why was I still here?

Not knowing what else to do I gulped down the rest of my hot chocolate, feeling the heat warming me from inside for a short moment before this strange cold feeling was back. The silence was slowly suffocating me as a sudden, but melodic voice cut through it and a beautiful young woman appeared right next to our table. »Keith, good to see you here. You forgot your headphones at my place last night.« Her smile was breathtaking while she rummaged in her purse to find something. She handed him black headphones, her hair falling in long silver waves over her shoulder. Her dark skin seemed to have not a single flaw. My eyes were downright drawn to her bright blue ones. She was really beautiful and … the look on her face which was directed at Keith was kind of like they knew each other for a really long time.

Keith wanted to say something but was cut off by her right at the beginning. »Sorry, I don’t have much time. See you tomorrow.« The words barely leaving her lips, she bent down, placing a kiss on Keith’s cheek, turned on the heel afterwards and went away. I wasn’t sure if I had imagined it, but I thought she had sent me a wink while turning around. My eyes wandered around in confusion until they met Keith’s and locked with them. There was a slight blush on his face and I could feel a pain in my chest. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be here and watching the guy I was in love with rejecting me by getting a kiss from a gorgeous woman who could possibly be his girlfriend! The pain in my chest got worse with every second our eyes locked longer. Why was I still here?! This beautiful dark purple was hurting me so much, but even so I couldn’t look away. My heart was slamming against my chest, breaking with every thought about Keith not liking me a little bit more.

I couldn’t take it any longer. With loud clattering I stood up, turning my head away, so I didn’t have to look at him anymore. »I need some fresh air.«, I said mumbling, grabbed my jacket and stormed off. Without looking back, I left the coffee shop and ran. Right then, when I wanted to turn left and disappear in a dark alleyway to hide from the rest of the world, I could hear his voice calling out for me. I didn’t stop there. I just turned the corner, running a few meters until I leaned against the wall with my back. I slowly slumped down the wall, hoping that Keith wouldn’t find me here. I didn’t know how I would react if he saw me like this. I couldn’t take the pain in my chest anymore.

I bent my knees and slung my arms around them, hiding my face behind as I heard fast stumping feet come closer and closer until they stopped a few steps away. »Lance? Why did you run away?« His voice sounded so full of concern, it hurt. I closed my eyes for a second, took a deep breath and swallowed down the pain in my chest. I couldn’t stand the way things went. There was nothing else I could do other than being completely honest now. Slowly I stood up again, brushing the snow and dirt off from my jeans and straightening my back. It was time to face the situation head on. I looked at Keith and our eyes locked. There was a strange look at his face I wasn’t able to read as I slowly began to speak with a serious expression.

»Keith, look, I … I don’t think we should meet anymore. Not in real life and not in the chatroom either.« I could see his eyes go wide and his jaw drop as I kept speaking. »I-I can’t do this. It’s too painful. I know you don’t feel the same way as I do, but I can’t pretend to see you as just a friend. You know, for me _this_ _was a date_. At least until you denied it. So … Good bye, Keith. Farewell.« I couldn’t hide the sadness swinging in my voice as I turned around to walk away from the person I loved. If I had stayed I would have done something I would regret later. As I slowly dragged my feet over the cold snowy path I bit my lip. Suddenly it was quiet. Everything around me seemed to disappear. There were only the sound of the crunching snow beneath my feet at every step and the pounding of my heart, slamming against my rib cage in a fast rhythm. I could feel the words I really wanted to say, wanted to _shout_ , stuck in my throat.

Then suddenly I had to stop. His hand had grabbed me by the wrist, followed by a loud »Wait!«. Surprised I turned around to see him with a pained expression on his face. »Don’t just run away without letting me explain anything!«, he screamed at me before lowering his voice to a whisper. »Just … hear me out! Please!« Strangely enough, he didn’t let go off my wrist. I replied with a nod, scared of what might come out if I spoke.

»You don’t know anything!«, he began again. Louder this time, nearly screaming and I just gazed at him, waiting for what would come and biting my lip while his hand on my wrist made my stomach flutter. Even though there was a thick layer of clothes between us. »I can’t believe you! You are Lance McClain, aren’t you? Why would you even _consider_ this as a _date_? You hate me, don’t you? I-I always watched you back in high school. I heard everything you ever said about me. I _know_ that you hate me! So why would you even _want_ to go on a date with me other than making fun of the stupid gay guy with the mullet?! You know, I _wished_ this was a date, because I really do like you. Now, fuck off!« Eyes wide open and Jaw dropped to the ground I stared at him. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The last few words were screamed at my face and only a second later the beautiful purple eyes were gone as well as his hand on my wrist. Dumbfounded I gazed at his back, quickly disappearing at the corner of the alleyway before I realized what had happened.

He had thought I had hated him in high school and even now? The last thing I had expected was that he … he had watched me? In high school? But … That couldn’t be the truth! He had heard everything I had ever said? _Fuck_! I … I had to run after him. I had to explain everything! But my feet wouldn’t move immediately. With a silent shout on my lips I sprinted forward, hoping to find Keith quickly. I turned at the corner and once again I found his mullet just by looking through the crowd. There weren’t as many people here as a few hours ago, what helped a lot. As fast as I could I ran in his direction, trying not to bump into other people or lanterns.

»Keith!«, I yelled while grabbing his arm and turning him around with only one thing in mind: I had to explain my feelings for him, but … Somehow, my inner voice was telling me that words weren’t enough. My free hand grabbed his neck and pulled him closer until he was close enough for me to kiss him. After his half-assed try to break free from my grip he began to relax and started to kiss me back. I let go of his arm and cupped his face in both my hands. He wrapped his arms around my waist while our kiss got passionate. Everything around me seemed so far away. The only thing I focused on was Keith and my pounding heart. The feelings which were floating through my body. The adrenaline pumping through my veins. His surprisingly sweet scent rising to my nose. This moment was beautiful and all I wished for was that it would never end.

Sadly, everything had to end eventually. This wasn’t an exception. The kiss came to an end, but neither he nor I pulled away. We stayed like this for a couple more seconds. My eyes were still closed, our noses brushed against each other. I felt his breath on my skin and it made me want to kiss him again. I didn’t want to open my eyes, because I feared that everything would end if I did. But at the same time, I really wanted to see his face, so I decided to take a risk and slowly opened my eyes. His eyes were still closed. Gently I stroked his cheek with my thumb and leaned my forehead against his. Then I watched his eyes opening and revealing this dark purple I loved so much. Again, my eyes shut close, a grin spreading on my face and a whisper entering my ears.

»Why did you kiss me?« Even though we were so close, his voice seemed to drift away. Now, I really had to explain myself.

»Because I really, really, _really_ like you. Ever since the first time I saw you. You’re right. I talked a lot of trash about you in high school, but I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I just didn’t want anyone to know, that I fell in love with you. Back then … Not even my best friends knew that I am bisexual. I came out to them right after you disappeared. When I realized that _you_ were _RedSamurai_ , the guy from the chatroom I fell in love with, I was so happy. Seeing you after so many years again made me speechless. I thought I would never be able to see you again, but here you are, standing right in front of me and it makes my heart jump. I really do like you, Keith. I could _never_ hate you.«

I opened my eyes again and pulled away a little bit, to have a better look at him and his blushing face. My arms wrapped around his waist as he looked at me obviously speechless, lips slightly parted and eyes sparkling. »I-I don’t know what to say.«, his voice finally came out. My grin got wider as I kissed him again. »You don’t have to say anything, besides …« I closed my eyes for a short moment, took a deep breath and locked eyes with this beautiful man in front of me. »Keith Kogane, do you want to go out with me? Wanna be my boyfriend? If yes, just kiss me here an–« I was cut off midsentence by him closing the small distance and locking our lips together. This kiss was a lot shorter than the others but was still everything I wished for. With this we were officially a couple. The thought alone caused my heart to slam against my chest in a rhythm that was even faster than I thought it would be possible. I was so incredibly happy, I couldn’t even describe it.

For a moment we looked each other in the eyes without speaking another word. The smile tugging on his lips was enough for me to know that I would never be able to let go of this breathtaking man.

»Do you want to go on a date with me? Right now? A real one?« His low voice was barely audible. My grin widened as I saw his face getting even more red. In a quick movement I planted a peck on his lips, took his hand and entwined our fingers. »There’s no way I’d say no to that. Especially when you’re the one inviting me.« He smiled at me with an expression so fond and soft that it made my stomach flutter and the heat rise up my neck. Without another word he turned around, checking our surroundings until he made the first step away, pulling me by the hand.

I didn’t care about where we were going as long as Keith was by my side, so I didn’t recognize where we were headed until we entered a building and the smell of coffee entered my nose. We were at the same coffee shop, headed to the same table and sat down just like before. Our cups were still there. This time I took off my scarf and hung it over my coat, which I had hung over my chair. We faced each other, both smiling bright and just enjoying the atmosphere until a cheerful voice broke this peaceful silence. Rolo was back, grinning from ear to ear, a tray in one hand, the other on his hip.

»That was a beautiful show you put up out there, guys. Really heart-wrenching.« In a dramatic gesture he wiped of an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye and pointed at the window at the other side of the coffee shop afterwards. I could feel my cheeks redden in embarrassment as I realized that he had seen everything and turned to Keith, who had a similar expression as me. Rolo just laughed a heartful laugh and placed two plates of cake in front of us. »These are presents from the manager.«, he said casually and took out a notebook. »Do you want to order the same as before?«, he asked afterwards. Still speechless we just nodded. »Okay, that would be a simple Cappuccino for Keith and a special vanilla hot chocolate for _loverboy_. By the way, I still don’t know your name.« Now he looked at me, still grinning. I was just about to say something when I was interrupted by a mumbling Keith. Confused I turned to look at my boyfriend, who had turned his face away from Rolo, a deep blush creeping up his neck and face.

»Did you say something?«, Rolo asked with a smirk. Keith sighed and repeated his mumbling just a little bit louder. »Lance! His name is Lance!« Still hiding his face behind his beautiful black bangs he looked at me, an apologetic glint in his eyes. A split second it was silent again until that guy’s voice rose in realization. »Wait a tick! Did you say Lance?! As in Lance McClain?! Your high school crush?!« My eyes widened at his words. Keith had talked about me?! I could feel my skin tone darkening. Turning back to Keith I saw him squinting his eyes and then he snapped. »Yes, Rolo! Lance McClain, the guy who _obviously_ didn’t really hate me. Just fuck off!«

»Whoa, calm down!«, Rolo said, smile fading. He took his tray from the table, turned around and walked away. Keith’s angry gaze was still focused on the waiter. With a long stretched »So …« I tried to get my boyfriend’s attention back. »You talked about me?« Now his head snapped back to me and his expression softened. »Y-Yeah, kind of, but … that’s not important now. Just … Just eat your cake!«

I couldn’t hold back my laughter as I saw his troubled expression. It was cute how he tried to change the topic. Just like in the chatroom. Even his glaring face, which was now directed at me, was cute. When my laughter finally died down, he took a look at his piece of cake and rolled his eyes. Curious I looked at my own piece. It was a chocolate cake and »Congratulations« was written on top of it. Confused I looked back at Keith. »Just don’t mind it.«, he said already eating the cake.

A while we talked about a lot of little things and I tried to completely relax, but … there were too many questions on my mind. Not sure if it was a good idea to risk his smile, I stared at the cup of hot chocolate which Rolo had brought just a few minutes ago and spaced out again. But not for long. Soon after, Keith brought me back to reality when he placed his hand on my arm, startling me a little bit in the process. »Is everything okay? You’re spacing out.«, he asked with a worried look on his face. Without thinking twice, I placed my hand on top of his and showed him my warmest smile. »Everything’s alright. It’s just … There are a lot of questions floating through my head.«

»Then … just ask. You want to know why I disappeared, right?« A soft smile formed on his lips as we locked eyes. Slowly I nodded and entwined our fingers together as he started to speak. His smile faded. »My brother had a car accident. He lost his right arm. At first, he was at the hospital near our old school, but soon he had to be transferred to the hospital here in this city. It was the only hospital with the right equipment to treat him. He got a prothesis. I wanted to stay with him, so I just packed my things and left without a word. I didn’t want to be pitied by anyone, so I didn’t tell anyone. There’s no one who’d miss me, anyway, is what I thought.«

He averted his sad eyes as he said the last few words, so I squeezed his hand a little bit to comfort him. »You know, that’s not in the least true.«, I had to say what was on my mind. »Not only I missed you. Everyone missed you. You were number one in school. There was not even one person who didn’t know you. So many students looked up to you. You were the most talked about person in school the first few weeks after you disappeared. There were even a lot of crazy rumors going around. Everyone was trying to explain why you left without a word. There were people saying you’re an alien and you left, because you were done with your research on the human race.« I couldn’t hold back a chuckle as I remembered all the absurd rumors that were going around back then.

»I-Is that really true?«, I heard him say in disbelief and looked him in the eyes. The dark purple sparkled as he blushed a little. A smirk spread on my face as I answered him with a raised brow. »Yeah, and I even thought some of the rumors were true. I mean … You just _have to be_ from outer space because your body’s out of this world.« Satisfied I watched him getting even more red before he burst out laughing. »You’re such a dork.«, he said between laughs and I chuckled along while I watched his beautiful face.

I still couldn’t believe it. I still couldn’t believe that I had found him again. That he was sitting here right in front of me. With his beautifully stupid mullet and his adorable laugh and his bright purple eyes which were prettier than any gem. I loved him so much, I loved this moment so much that my chest grew tight and my stomach fluttered. Never would I have imagined that it was possible to be this happy, but I was.

Then he calmed down and looked at me with this soft smile and this fond expression. I felt my heartbeat rise again. I mirrored his expression, raised his hand to my mouth and kissed the back of his hand.

The rest of the evening we talked about everything and anything. Some of the things I already knew, others were new to me. I learned that the beautiful silver haired woman named Allura was his brother’s fiancé and that it had surprised him as she kissed his cheek, because she usually didn’t do such things. We talked so much that we didn’t even realize that we were the last ones in the coffee shop until a strange looking man appeared right beside our table. With his orange hair and odd-looking mustache, he looked kind of goofy.

»So … Keith, I really don’t want to interrupt you two, but … I want to go home, so …« With wide eyes Keith looked at the clock hanging on the wall near the counter. »I’m so sorry, Coran. We didn’t watch the time.«, he said with an apologetic expression. Only now I took a look at the time myself. I had not realized that it was already this late. Closing time had been already two hours ago. We put on our jackets said goodbye to Coran, whom I now knew was the manager of the coffee shop and also Allura’s uncle, and went outside.

Snow was dancing through the night as we walked along the snowy paths. Our hands intertwined, not saying a word. After a while, Keith’s beautiful voice cut through this peaceful silence in a whisper. »Y-You’re … You’re not celebrating with your family this year, right?« I stopped to look at him and smirked at the thought of the direction this was going to. »Yeah, so what about it?«

»Do … Do you want to celebrate with us? It would be nice to have you with us and you don’t have to sit alone in your apartment all day.«, he said without looking at me and a blush creeping up his face. My smile softened as I pulled him into an embrace. »There’s nothing I want to do more than that.«, I said in a low voice. »Oh wait … There is one thing.«, I whispered and started to nibble on his earlobe. My grin got wider as I heard him gasp. When I pulled away I caught a glimpse of his blushing face before he turned his head away. Chuckling I cupped his face in both my hands and forced him to look at me before I laid my lips on his and engaged him in a passionate kiss. »Let's go to your place, Samurai.«, I said still whispering while letting go of his face and taking his hand in mine. _»This is by far the best Christmas ever.«_ , I thought to myself as we made our way to Keith’s motorbike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this short story about my favourite Paladins^^
> 
> I wrote this especially for King on the Boys Love//Yaoi Amino as a Christmas present.
> 
> Maybe I'm going to write a second chapter, but I'm not sure yet, so ...  
> No promises!


	2. Ocean Eyes and Scary Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ... I really wanted to write a continuation, so I just did it.
> 
> It's probably not as good as the first part, but please enjoy!

There are some things you should be doing and some things you shouldn’t. And sometimes we ignore this voice which tries to protect us from bad ideas and … we just do stupid stuff like … getting too curious and looking at other people’s cell phones when they aren’t around.

I knew I shouldn’t be doing that, but I just got way too curious. Right to the point where I just couldn’t stand it any longer. The last three hours he had spent with texting someone and every time I had asked him who he was texting with he had said it wasn’t important, but I was worried. We were dating for almost a year now and I knew I could trust him, and I really did trust him, it just … really, really bothered me that he had grinned from ear to ear whenever he had looked at his phone. I didn’t know if he had realized it himself, but he had looked so incredibly happy and it hurt me to know that someone who wasn’t me could make him this happy.

With a deep breath I unlocked his phone and took a look at his recent chats. I didn’t even realize that I held my breath while the latest message caught my attention and my chest tightened.

Standing in the middle of my living room I looked around to make sure I was alone before I opened the chat. The sound of the shower let me know that Lance was still in the bathroom.

Fear was crawling up my back as I stared at the screen. I was too afraid of what I might read if I scrolled up more than I already had, so I just read what was right in front of me and swallowed down the pain in my chest.

_»ANYWAY, you’re still in, right? Don’t back down now!«_

_»Yeah, of course! Who do you think I am? Lancey Lance never backs down. This is going to be fun ;)«_

_»Great. So we are still meeting tonight?«_

_»Sure, there’s nothing holding me back. Don’t let your girlfriend know ;)«_

_»Yeah, you too! Don’t let Keith know about this! He might get jealous/ruin everything. Weren’t you supposed to be at his place tonight?«_

_»Yeah, but I’ll just tell him I’m going home to skype with my family. No problem. It’s getting loud all the time and he doesn’t like that.«_

_»Ok, then see you soon.«_

_»Yeah, see you later, beautiful lady ;)«_

With wide eyes I stared at the screen. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Lance was … My _boyfriend_ was going to lie directly at my face? And why? Because of some _»beautiful lady«_ who didn’t even have a profile picture. Not even her name was clear. There were only some strange numbers and an alien emoji shown.

My thoughts were interrupted by the slowly opening door. In a rush I locked his phone and laid it back where I had taken it from. I hadn’t realized that the Cuban had already finished his shower.

Just a second later a warm body pressed against my back and his arms embraced me from behind.

»Hey, pretty boy. Whatcha doin’?« The low sound of his beautiful voice paired with the heat radiating from his body sent shivers down my spine. »I-I was just about to watch some tv.«, I said with a raspy voice, not moving an inch. With a wide grin he loosened his grip and turned me around in his arms, so he could look at me properly. The only problem was I couldn’t look at him properly. The confusion coming from his recent behavior and this mysterious chat grew with every second that passed. And as if it weren’t enough already there was still more going on in my mind.

»Babe, what’s wrong?«, he suddenly said in a worried voice, placing a gentle kiss on my lips afterwards. Startled by the question I looked back at him, seeing sorrow written all over his face. A faint smile spread on my face as his ocean blue eyes looked into mine. »It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.«, was all I could say.

Unconvinced he held me tighter. »Are you sure? I know that face you’re making right now. Something’s bothering you. I can see it.« When had he gotten this sharp? For a moment I sank into deep thought. Maybe I should tell him about my worries, but … then I had to tell him I had looked at his phone without his permission, too. Absentmindedly I put my hands on Lance’s chest, my gaze wandering to the side before laying my head on his shoulder.

»Did anything happen?«, he asked with a voice full of sorrow, rubbing my back while holding me closer. Why was I in love with this beautiful and sharp man? Why couldn’t I be someone he deserved? »No, i-it’s just …«, I started, sighing at the end. »I just had to think about a … dream I had last night. Don’t worry about it.« My words were only a whisper, not meant to be heard at all, but still …

»Did you have a nightmare again?«, he asked in such a soft voice I nearly cracked. I didn’t say anything for a few more seconds. After taking a deep breath I lifted my head and brought some distance between us. »Don’t worry about it. I’m okay.«, I said, not looking into his eyes. He was right. I really had had a few nightmares last night. They had woken me up more than once and they were messing with my mind. I hadn’t told him until now, because I didn’t want to worry him, but here I was now, looked at by sorrowful eyes.

Suddenly he let go of me for a short moment and pulled me by the hand only a second later. »W-What are you doing?«, I asked as he pushed me down onto the couch. Confused I watched him go into the bedroom without answering my question. Short after, a big pile of blankets with legs showed up at the bedroom door. »What are you doing?«, I questioned his appearance again. Only after Lance threw the blankets on me, he answered while sitting down right next to me and grabbing the remote from the coffee table. »You and I, we’ll enjoy a nice movie night together, right now.« A wide grin spread on his face and I knew I couldn’t say anything against it. »It’s still early, but we have all night, don’t we?«, he continued speaking in his typical cheerful voice, causing a smile on my face.

Lance opened Netflix and started one of my favorite movies, before putting the remote down and wrapping an arm around me, pulling me a little closer. It was warm and comfy, and it really made me happy that he cared about me so much. After half an hour into the movie, however, I could see him text someone again for a few minutes. »Who are you texting?«, I asked as I couldn’t hold back my curiosity anymore. The Cuban just locked his phone and put it away before looking at me with a soft smile. »Sorry, just had to … clear something up. Now I’m all yours and there’s nothing that will disturb us.«, he said before placing a soft kiss on my cheek, smiling. Then he turned his attention back to the movie. I, however, was caught up in my thoughts and couldn’t concentrate on what was happening in front of my eyes anymore.

Why hadn’t he answered my question? Why couldn’t I know with whom he was texting all the time? I knew I shouldn’t read too much into it. I really knew that, but … In addition to the nightmares I had last night the thought of him hiding something from me was purely horrifying.

Trying to get rid of these thoughts I cuddled closer to Lance and tried to concentrate once again on the movie.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, I woke up next to a sleeping Lance. Remembering the dream from last night I cuddled up to him, trying to erase the memory. After I had met Lance again almost a year ago the dreams had seemed to get better. Nightmares had come less often and good dreams more often, but … recently the nightmares seemed to come back worse than before. I was genuinely scared. Especially since the last few dreams had centered on my relationship with the Cuban.

I hadn’t told him about this so far and I didn’t plan on telling him anytime soon.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to think about something else while closing my eyes again. Falling asleep once more, however, was impossible.

After a little while Lance began moving a bit before waking up and pulling me closer. He knew I was already awake. He always knew when I was awake. Still he wasn’t saying anything. The Cuban just rubbed my back gently and kissed my hair. This had become a routine over the past months. Since he knew how bad my dreams could be. I was grateful for these little gestures because he really managed to calm me down when the dreams affected me more than they should have.

»Good morning, pretty boy.«, he mumbled in a sleepy voice, kissing my hair again. I just hummed in response, not wanting to know what might come out if I tried to speak. He chuckled quietly but I knew he was worried and tried to cover it up. I could hear it.

We stayed like this for a little while longer before he eventually let go of me. »Sorry, I’d love to stay in bed with you a little while longer but … I still have paperwork to do in the office, so …«, he said while hesitantly leaving the bed. »It’s okay. It’s work, after all.«, I responded with a faint smile, staying in bed a little longer. »I promise I’ll be back as soon as possible and then we’re decorating your home for Christmas. The spirit’s missing here a little.« I smiled a little more as I saw how excited he was about Christmas.

Lance placed a quick kiss on my lips, then he grabbed some clean clothes and left the room to take a shower. The smile on my face was gone as soon as the door closed behind my boyfriend. Once again, I had to think about last night’s nightmare. This time I had dreamt that Lance … was cheating on me with a woman. The thought made me restless. It would have been possible, after all.

Him texting a woman, talking about keeping secrets from their partners, Lance flirting … I didn’t want to think about it, but I couldn’t help it. Immediately I had to think about the reason being me. Wasn’t I enough for him? Did I do anything wrong? I always tried to be a good boyfriend but maybe I really wasn’t?

My thoughts wandered around for quite a long time without me noticing the time flying by. As I realized how much time had already passed, I sighed and finally left my bed. Just like my boyfriend earlier I took a shower while trying not to think too much. Afterwards I just stood around in my room. My thoughts were still a mess as I slowly opened the closet and scanned it for something to wear. Eventually I took out some of my oldest clothes and put them on. They had been presents from my brother and gave me a certain feeling of warmth.

Eventually I sat on the couch in the living room and stared into nothingness. I didn’t know what to do now but I knew that I had to stop thinking so much, so I did the only thing that came to mind to distract me.

Without having eaten anything this morning I left my apartment and climbed onto my bike. Then I started it and drove around the city for a bit without destination. It was already noon when I drove by the dancing school and started thinking. Maybe Lance would be happy if I surprised him with lunch. At the start of our relationship I had done this a few times, too, and I still couldn’t forget the happy smile he had shown me.

With anticipation I drove over to the restaurant we usually ordered from. »Oh, Kogane, nice to see you again!«, the cheerful waiter immediately greeted me as I walked into the building. »Hey, Jeremy, how are you?«, I greeted back with a smile while going over to the counter he was standing behind, drying glass after glass smiling.

»Great! Absolutely great!« His smile turned into a bright grin and made me curious, so I instantly asked further. »What happened to you? Your smile is blinding me.« I couldn’t suppress my chuckling. His good mood was contagious. »Good that you ask!«, he continued, »Remember the girl I was talking about the last time? I asked her out! And she said yes!« His face lit up with happiness as he started to talk about his crush. I just listened with a smile while he was rambling about her beautiful smile and amazing personality. I liked coming here, talking to Jeremy. He was always in a good mood and cheered me up whatever was going on in my mind. Lance already declared him to be our personal waiter the first day we met him. We got really good friends as time had gone by.

After a while he stopped midsentence, obviously realizing how long he had talked his eyes went wide and he looked at me apologetic. »I’m sorry I’m rambling. You sure are hungry. What do you want? The usual to go? Heading over to Lance again? How is he, by the way?« With a smile he started noting down a few things on a small notebook. »Don’t worry about it. You know I like listening to your stories. Lance has work to do, so I’m gonna surprise him with lunch. He’s already really excited about Christmas, too.«

»He seems like the type of guy who would enjoy every holiday to the fullest. I’m right back.« Jeremy chuckled, then left for a moment. »It won’t take long. There aren’t a lot of orders today.«, he said as he came back from the kitchen. Afterwards we talked about a few things before finally the food came. I paid, wished Jeremy good luck with his date and then left the restaurant.

The dancing school in which Lance worked as a teacher was just around the corner. I parked the bike at the parking lot behind the building, then I went inside, smiling, full of anticipation to see my boyfriend’s smile. My own smile, however, faded away as I entered his office on the second floor. No one was inside. I stepped further inside the room, went over to his desk and looked a little around. His computer was turned off. It didn’t seem as if he would have been here all day long, then I looked at his calendar and my eyes went wide.

The whole week was marked in a bright blue and every single day the words »quality time with my boyfriend« were written on the paper in his handwriting. I couldn’t believe it. He lied to me! Again! Then … what was he doing now?! He said he had to work. He lied right into my face …

My heart started beating faster as the memory of last night’s dream crawled back to the surface. My eyes found on their own their way to the picture of the Cuban and me he had on his desk next to the computer. We smiled happy in that picture, his arm wrapped around my shoulders. I could feel a tear run down my face as my anxiety grew stronger. What if my dreams wouldn’t just stay dreams?

My fingers started trembling a little as I tried to calm down again. I took a deep breath over and over again. We were together for almost a year now. He couldn’t already have enough of me, could he? Why didn’t he tell me that he took the week off, too?

Somehow my attempts on calming myself down didn’t work, so I did the only thing I could think of to help myself. With trembling fingers I took my phone out of my pocket and called my brother. He didn’t take long to pick up and greet me. I, however, didn’t let him time to say anything else. »Help me!«, was all I could say at that moment. »What happened?«, he asked immediately in a calm and soft voice. »A nightmare … is haunting me. I … can’t calm down.«, I explained, my voice breaking. My beloved brother immediately started to tell me about his last few days in a soothing voice. Every now and then he made a joke and slowly but surely I got calmer. My fingers stopped trembling and I leaned against the wall in my back, taking a few deep breaths.

»Do you want to come over? I have the day off and nothing to do. There are cookies, too.«, Shiro suggested after a while. I hesitated. There was still the food and I didn’t want to explain why I had so much food with me. Slowly I started to talk again. »Have you … eaten lunch already?« Glad that my voice was somehow normal again I looked around the room, waiting for an answer. »Oh, right, I knew I forgot something.«, he laughed, then answered my question with no.

A smile was tugging on my lips as I continued. »I’ll get lunch, then I come over.«, I said and hung up the phone without waiting for a reply. I took a last deep breath, then I left my boyfriend’s office with the food in my hand.

»Oh, Keith, hey! What are you doing here?«, a cheerful voice could suddenly be heard as I made my way down the stairs. I turned around to find one of Lance’s colleagues standing there with a big smile. A almost real smile on my face I looked at the blonde girl. »Hey, Romelle. I, uh … had to get something for Lance from his office. How are you?«

»I’m great. As always. Thanks for asking.«, she said, smiling bright, »How are you and Lance? Do you enjoy your time together? He was so looking forward to spending the week with you. And he just wouldn’t shut up about your upcoming anniversary. But who can blame him. Everyone here is jealous of the relationship you two have. I wish I had something like that, too, but somehow I can’t keep a single boyfriend. And I just don’t know why. They always say I talk too much, but that’s bullshit, right?« Now she looked at me, probably expecting me to agree with her.

For a moment I just looked at her before I pointed at the food. »Sorry, Romelle. I don’t have time. The food is getting cold.« Then I turned around and left. »Oh, sorry! I don’t want to keep you from spending time with your boyfriend. See you!«, she called after me.

A minute later I left the building and went back to my bike. After putting the food in the trunk, I took again a deep breath before finally leaving the parking lot on my bike.

It didn’t take long for me to get to Shiro’s apartment and ring the bell. A second later, he opened the door and greeted me with this I’m-glad-you-still-need-your-older-brother-smile. Only a faint smile showing I entered the apartment with the food in hands. After taking off my boots and coat I headed straight for the kitchen and sat down at the table, immediately spreading the food on it, while my brother just followed me.

Without saying anything he sat down opposite of me and looked at the mess I made on his new dinner table with a sigh. Hesitantly I started to eat slowly, not really hungry after everything that happened since I had left the restaurant. My eyes kept on the meal I could feel Shiro’s analyzing stare on me. It was silent for what felt like minutes before his calm voice entered my ears.

»Wanna talk about what happened? Why aren’t you eating with Lance? That’s clearly his order and … it’s already cold.« Sharp like always.

Pretending to chew the piece of food I had already swallowed a second ago, I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to remember. Neither the lie, nor the dream. Again, sighing. This time, however, I looked up a little.

»First of all, I know that you’re not chewing anything right now. You already tried that when you were a kid. Also … It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. I won’t force you to talk. You know that.« His reassuring and soft expression somehow calmed me down a little again. I knew he wouldn’t pressure me, but I also knew that he would be worried about it. And then he would probably bother his clients at the gym. Again.

Once more, sighing. This time, though, on my side. Maybe he was able to understand what was happening. Maybe he could help me figure out how to handle this situation. Since the first time we met, he had always been my safe haven. The only one that at least tried to understand me.

»I’m scared.« The words came out before I could stop them, and I immediately closed my mouth again.

»Scared?«, Shiro asked with a calm voice, »Why? Because of your nightmares?«

»Partly.«, I replied, my voice more or less a broken whisper. I didn’t dare to look at his face while I thought about the last twenty-four hours. Too scared that he might read what was going on in my head. That was his superpower, after all.

»He is … kinda … acting strange.«, I hesitantly continued. »M-Maybe I’m just … imagining things because of my nightmares, and in reality it’s nothing, but … I’m really scared right now. And I don’t know what to do.«

I could hear him shift in his seat while I took a deep breath, my eyes glued to the food. In moments like these I always felt helpless and stupid. I couldn’t change that and Shiro knew exactly how I felt, so he didn’t take long to speak again.

»Okay, first things first. What are you afraid of?« His voice was calm and collected. My brother was used to dealing with my anxiety and nightmares and my stupid ideas and thoughts in general. This wouldn’t have been the first time I interpreted too much into a situation.

»That he … might … cheat on me … That he has enough of me already. That I can’t give him what he needs.« I could feel my hands start to tremble while I spoke. My voice was nothing more than a whisper, but it felt as if I was shouting. As if the whole world could hear my dumb thoughts. Again, I took a deep breath, trying my best to calm down again.

»Why do you think that? You said he is acting strange?«, Shiro just went on, giving me no time to drown alone in my thoughts. One more time I inhaled deeply before I started to tell him what happened. How Lance had behaved the past days and how he had lied and planned to lie right at my face. I told him about the messages and the _»beautiful lady«_ without a face or name. When I finished, he sat next to me and just pulled me into a hug. I hadn’t noticed that he changed his position until the moment his arms wrapped around me.

Only as Shiro pulled away again and offered to go to the couch in the living room I realized that I trembled more than before. Without saying anything I stood up and went – supported by my brother – to the living room, where we sat down on the couch. The moment I tried to say something but nothing came out, he pulled me a little closer and spoke in a calm and soothing voice.

»I don’t think Lance would do something like cheating, but you’re right. His behavior _is_ strange. I will try to talk to him, okay? Don’t worry. I won’t mention anything you told me.«

Grateful I nodded slightly, while I still tried to calm down. I just couldn’t shake off the images of last night’s nightmare. Since I had been a kid I barely forgot what happened in any of my nightmares. I still could see it clearly in front of my inner eye. The way my boyfriend talked to a faceless woman last night like he usually talked to me. The way he kissed her on the bed just as passionately as he had kissed me, and his response as I made him aware of my presence.

»Didn’t I make it clear that I don’t love you anymore?«

A gentle pull drew my attention back to Shiro who smiled at me. »Wanna know what I think about this whole situation?«, he asked with a little grin. Raising an eyebrow I looked at him questioning. »Tell me.«

»Your anniversary is coming up in a few days. You two will spend Christmas Eve alone together, right? Did you talk about what you’re doing?«

My eyes scanned the room while I thought about that day and what Lance had told me about our plans. The light-colored furniture helped me calm down a little. Allura’s influence on everything could be clearly seen. Pink and blue were used all around the apartment on white foundation. Especially the floral painting in mostly pink with light blue and light green elements on the wall above the tv caught my attention. It had some kind of calming effect on me. A faint smile found its way on my face.

»We’re going to Coran’s around the same time we met up last year, but … he didn’t tell me anything about the rest of the day. He said it should be a surprise. He smiled so bright that it made me pretty curious.« My smile got brighter, as well, as I remembered his cheerful behavior when we had talked about all that. And when I thought about his promise of decorating my apartment it got even brighter.

»I don’t think you have anything to be afraid of, Keith. He probably just tries to hide a Christmas surprise from you. You know, like I did, when I got you the new bike.«, my brother’s voice entered my ears in a soothing way. »It’s your one-year-anniversary as well, so he might just try to make something special out of it. Don’t think about it too much. Just enjoy your time with him. And if you have a panic attack again, just call me. Besides … you trust him, right?«

»Absolutely.«, I answered without hesitation because … I really did trust him. That didn’t keep my brain from imagining the worst-case-scenario, though. However, Shiro was right. I shouldn’t think about it too much. There was no way that would end well, after all.

»Why don’t you just talk to him about your insecurities? He knows about your nightmares and your anxiety, right?«, my brother continued and I just nodded. I had already thought about that but … there was a part of me that just didn’t want to bother Lance with these problems. If there was really nothing behind all this strange behavior of his, I didn’t want him to feel as if I didn’t trust him. I _really_ did, after all.

And then I decided that I didn’t want to think about that any longer, so I convinced Shiro to change the subject. We talked about all kinds of things for a while before I asked him about his plans for Christmas Eve with his lovely wife. I listened to what he told me about it while admiring the Christmas decorations. Even they were partly kept in pink and blue.

Hours went by in which we talked, watched tv and just relaxed. Until suddenly my phone started buzzing and wouldn’t stop. I lied on the couch – knees bent, so it would be more comfortable – and watched tv while Shiro sat in the armchair, some kind of papers in hands, only partly watching the show.

Slowly I took the phone out of my pocket and looked at the display. As I read who called I immediately sat up and answered the phone.

»Hey, babe! Where are you?« Lance’s cheerful voice filled my chest with happiness. As good as I was able to, I tried to forget all the doubts I had in the back of my head and answered with a little smile. »I’m at Shiro’s. Are you finished with your work?«

»Yeah, I’m at your place right now and I brought some Christmas decorations and a little surprise. Are you coming home now?« I could hear something clatter in the background right as he asked the last question, followed by a quiet »Shit!«. A chuckle escaped my throat while listening to a little more cursing on the other end of the line. Then it was silent for a moment and I could hear the faint sound of Christmas music playing in the background.

»I’m on my way. Don’t demolish my apartment!«, I said before hanging up the phone and smiling at the now black screen for a moment.

»Seems like your sweetheart wants you home.«, Shiro said in a teasing way before looking at me with a serious smile. »Don’t think about it too much. That guy is at your place now. He wants to be with you. So be with him and enjoy your time.«

Thankful, I jumped from the couch, hugged Shiro goodbye and then made my way to the door where I put on my boots and coat as fast as I could before I finally left the apartment.

 

* * *

 

As I entered my apartment the smell of cinnamon and oranges immediately surrounded me, together with the sound of classic Christmas music and the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard singing along. There was rustling and clattering coming from the living room as I slowly made my way inside after taking off my boots and coat.

The door to the living room was open. Quietly I stopped in the door and looked inside. A soft smile spread on my face as I watched Lance handling the decoration, beaming with delight, singing. He didn’t notice me while he danced around to the music. I just watched him for a while, until I spotted what he was about to decorate.

My eyes went wide in disbelief as I looked up at that huge tree that was standing in the middle of _my_ living room. And suddenly there were lips kissing my cheek and a cheerful voice. »Welcome home, pretty boy! I’ve missed you!«

I didn’t say anything, instead I just stared at that tree until I could hear chuckling right next to me.

»Do you like my surprise? There is more, by the way.«, Lance said in a soft voice while gently wrapping his arms around my waist. »Lance, this is …«, I started but couldn’t find a way to end the sentence. This whole atmosphere was overwhelming me. The lights were dimmed to let the lights of the decorations shine more. The smell of cinnamon and oranges filled my nose and my beloved boyfriend’s embrace warmed my heart. I wasn’t prepared for any of this.

»The tree is artificial, so we can use it every year. I made sure to get the most beautiful one and the best decoration I could afford. That’s part one of your surprise, just so you know. Part two contains my utmost attention to you for the rest of the week, because I … got _the whole week off!_ Just for you! I’ve got Romelle and Nyma to cover for me.«, the Cuban said with an immensely bright smile before he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. And I still stood there, lips slightly parted, completely overwhelmed by all this. No clue what to say I stared at these beautiful ocean eyes.

Shiro was right. He really just tried to hide a surprise. A beautiful one no less. A soft smile formed on my lips as I responded to him by wrapping my arms around him and buried my face on his neck.

»Thank you.«, I muttered under my breath, tearing up a little. He held me for a while without saying anything else while rubbing my back gently. Then he started to speak again, this time in a low and soft voice. »I’m sorry that I lied to you about having to work today. I had to prepare the surprise and it took surprisingly long.«

Not answering I just tightened the embrace a little. My boyfriend placed a few soft kisses on my neck before slowly letting go of me. »Wanna help me decorate?«, he asked. With a smile I lifted my head to look at him, nodding, then I let go of him and started to examine the things now lying around in my living room.

Together we continued decorating while Christmas music was playing in the background. Lance sang along to every song on the playlist and danced around the room, covering me in Christmas tree decorations in the process. Even though I tried to be annoyed, every time he placed another piece of the decoration on my sweater or hair, I just couldn’t stop myself from chuckling and laughing and even giggling every now and then.

And when Mariah Carey’s »All I want for Christmas is You« was playing I almost couldn’t save myself from Lance’s dorky flirt faces and his kisses on every single spot he managed to reach while dancing around the room, still decorating.

After a while we were finally finished and sat together on the couch, each of us a cup of hot chocolate in hands. My head leaned against Lance’s shoulder and my legs I had thrown over his lap while I listened to the music and watched the tree with a soft smile. Right at this moment I was happy. I had the feeling that everything would be okay from now on.

I was with the one I loved, after all. And he obviously loved me, too.

 

* * *

 

The days went by and Christmas came sooner than expected. Today was Christmas Eve and I was waking up from one of the worst nightmares ever. After this great day we had as we had decorated my apartment, the dreams hadn’t gotten better at all. Even though I had spent a great week with my beloved boyfriend. Every day had been amazing, but every night had been the utter horror.

All my dreams had centered on my relationship with Lance. Every single night he had cheated on me in another way, at another place, at another time. It made me even more restless than ever before. I hadn’t shown Lance my uneasiness the past few days and I didn’t think he had noticed anything.

I knew that he had to prepare surprises and such but … I had thought a lot the past few days and I didn’t understand what this mysterious _»beautiful lady«_ had to do with all of that. It didn’t make any sense to me.

He hadn’t spent as much time on his phone while he had spent time with me, but I had caught him a few times texting someone with this weird bright smile. It made me anxious, but I always tried not to show it.

This night the dream had been by far the worst and I wanted to forget it so badly. Trembling I pulled the blankets closer and tried my best to calm down. I was alone in my apartment. Lance was at his own because he had wanted to skype with his family and prepare a few last things for today and tomorrow. I hadn’t told him how bad my dreams had become the last few days.

After a few minutes I called Shiro again. His calm voice every time I called him because of something like this, was a blessing for my soul. His soft way of talking about random things and the fact that he never got mad at me for waking him up at weird times were things I really admired about him. And as always, he managed to calm me down. I couldn’t understand how he did that, how he was able to take away all … _this_. But I was really grateful for this skill of his.

He even managed to motivate me to get out of my apartment and into the world. Once again, I put my favorite clothes on after taking a hot shower and left the building without breakfast. As I walked to the parking lot behind the building I looked down to my boots. They had been a present from Lance as the first snow of the season had covered the city. I liked them. They were warm and comfortable, after all.

As I reached my parking space, I grabbed my keys from the pocket of my coat, put my helmet on and climbed onto my beloved bike. Right when I left the parking lot it started to snow. With a little smile I looked up into the sky for a split second before concentrating on the street in front of me again.

For a while I just drove around the city without a real destination. I had planned to visit Coran’s coffee shop, but it was still pretty early and I didn’t want to disturb his morning duties before opening.

A few minutes before the coffee shop should open, I drove downtown and parked the bike near the main square. Afterwards I made my way slowly to the coffee shop. Still … I was too early and really didn’t want to disturb Coran before business hours, so I just sat down on the bench in front of the fountain where I had met Lance almost exactly a year ago.

Thinking back to that day, I looked around a bit and watched a few people walking around and waiting for the stores to open. I still knew exactly what I had thought when I had seen Lance standing there and looking at me with the same disbelieving expression I had probably worn.

Now a year later we were still together and happy … Most of the time at least. The dream from last night didn’t want to leave my head at all. Lance with a woman, both naked underneath a blanket, doing it … I couldn’t think about that without a sharp pain in my chest.

I shook my head immediately as the images came back and looked around more, on search for something that would distract me from my thoughts.

Soon I actually spotted something that caught my attention, however, in the worst way possible.

My eyes focused on the person leaving the hotel. The person wearing a blue and black coat I had chosen for my boyfriend a month ago at the mall. The person wearing the same pants my boyfriend had worn on the day before when he had left my apartment. The man with the same hair color and the same skin tone as my boyfriend. The only thing that was unusual for Lance was this strange hairstyle that looked like he just got out of bed.

Without noticing I had jumped up from the bench and watched him leave the main square with wide eyes and racing heartbeat. My dream came back in a flash and again I started to tremble. I could feel a panic attack bubbling up in my stomach as suddenly there was an arm on my shoulder.

»You look like you need a drink.«, said the man standing next to me, his arm still leaning on my shoulder, voice a little concerned. Only slowly I looked at him, my eyes still widened, my hands still trembling.

Rolo just looked at me for a moment before taking his arm away and slapping me without any sign of warning. »What the hell?!« I blurted out, my hand now holding the cheek he had just hit. He, however, just smiled at me with a comforting expression, then he grabbed my shoulders and looked into my eyes. »Take a deep breath!«

I did as he told me. Then he took his hands away again and wrapped an arm around my shoulders instead before dragging me off to the side of the main square and into an alleyway.

A moment later we were seated on the couch in his living room, a cup of coffee in my hands I stared at the coffee table in front of me, trying to understand the scene I had just witnessed outside.

»Okay … Now tell me what caused a panic attack in the middle of the main square.« Rolo’s voice was calm and it didn’t take long for me to tell him about my worries. I told him about my nightmares, Lance’s strange behavior and the scene I had just watched.

»So … let me summarize. You think Lance just walked out of the hotel after spending the night with some kind of ›beautiful lady‹?«, Rolo asked with a raised eyebrow. I nodded. »He’s usually not up this early if he doesn’t have to be anywhere. And he usually takes care of his hair style whenever he wants to go outside. There’s no other solution. What would he even do in a hotel besides cheating on me?«, I explained before taking a sip of my coffee and looking into the cup afterwards.

It was quiet for a few seconds before Rolo’s voice could be heard again. »Nah. I don’t think so.« This time it was my turn to raise an eyebrow and look at him. »Why?« Then he just smiled at me and answered. »I just don’t understand why he would cheat on you. You’re amazing in bed, after all. Why would he even need someone else?«

Skeptical I raised my eyebrow a little more. »You’re only saying that to make me feel better.« There was no way that would be the truth, after all. Of course, there was a chance that Lance had just gotten tired of me already. Or maybe a woman made him feel more like a man or something along those lines. There were a lot of possibilities.

»No. I’m simply saying that because it’s the truth.«, Rolo claimed. »I have enough experience to say that you’re one of the best I’ve had so far. Gosh, you’re even better than my girlfriend and she’s a dancer!«, he continued and I couldn’t keep a blush from creeping up my neck. Of course, Rolo noticed and chuckled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders in the process.

»Just wait until Christmas is over and don’t think too much about everything. You guys have a date this evening, right? Enjoy it. And keep in mind … If he should really be stupid enough to cheat on you, you can come here whenever you want. I’ll comfort you. Like the last time you got dumped. My bed’s always open for you, after all.«

Thinking I looked into my cup and it was silent for a moment again. Then I sighed. »You must be pretty sure about the outcome if you offer your bed even though you have a girlfriend.«, I said and he laughed. Then he pulled me closer with a wide grin. »Maybe I just know something that you don’t. Maybe I don’t know anything at all. Maybe I just can’t wait to spend Christmas with my girlfriend and don’t want to worry about your problems. By the way … You’re already twenty-five. If you worry too much you’ll look thirty soon.«

A smile was tugging on my lips while I took another sip of the coffee. Maybe Rolo was right. Maybe I should just wait. There was no way for me to change anything now, anyway. If he really was cheating on me then … Once more, a sigh escaped my lips. I decided to confront him tomorrow if things wouldn’t unravel until the day is over. Shiro already had been right with the surprise Lance had tried to hide. Maybe this woman was part of this somehow. Maybe there was really nothing I should be afraid of. Maybe I should call Lance and ask him to come over to my apartment sooner.

Determined I stood up from the couch and placed the cup on the table. »Thank you, Rolo. I should go now.« Without waiting for an answer I grabbed my stuff and left the apartment.

 

* * *

 

»I hate to say it but … we should probably go soon if we want to go to Coran’s in time for our anniversary.«, Lance mumbled against my skin before placing a soft kiss on my neck. When I had come back to my apartment this morning, Lance had been already there, making breakfast. It had surprised me quite a bit. He hadn’t looked at all like the figure I had seen coming out of that hotel and I had started to think that my imagination might have played a trick on me.

We had spent the whole day together afterwards. He not even once had looked at his phone. Instead he had given me his fullest attention. Now we were lying on the couch, cuddled together underneath a blanket. Christmas songs were playing in the background and candles on the coffee table were lighting the room while the scent of cinnamon and oranges filled my nose.

»Why don’t we just stay here and spend the evening like this?«, I mumbled more than I asked. My motivation to swap my boyfriends warmth with the cold weather outside was nonexistent. I rather stayed with him here for the rest of eternity than ever go outside again.

Lance just chuckled softly and immediately a fond smile spread on my face. »As tempting as it sounds … We should really go now, babe. Coran keeps our table free, after all. Besides … I really want to go back to where it all started.« His low voice filled my ears and I just couldn’t resist a wish he had. So, I hesitantly moved away from Lance and slowly sat up. He did the same and pulled me into a soft kiss only a moment later.

»You won’t regret this. I promise.« The Cuban aspirates the words against my lips before standing up and getting ready to go out.

An hour later we walked along the main square directly to Coran’s coffee shop. Holding hands and happy, we admired the decorations they had put up everywhere this year. On our way we stopped for a minute at the fountain to appreciate the moment we had met each other again. Next to the fountain were apparently street musicians who prepared their instruments. They probably wanted to play soon.

A few more minutes later we entered the coffee shop. Coran was immediately there to greet us. Today he was even more cheerful than usual. He even served us himself instead of telling one of the waiters. He seemed so happy that I started to grin. Maybe he found himself finally a partner, too.

We ordered the exact same things as a year ago and then we just talked. About everything and anything. We talked for a while but … something seemed off about Lance this time. He kept staring at his watch and seemed nervous. After a while I just couldn’t keep myself from asking if anything’s wrong, anymore. He just smiled at me, his ocean eyes looking into mine.

»No, everything’s absolutely perfect but … «, he started, and I got a little nervous myself while I waited for him to continue. He took a deep breath, then he started to talk again. »Let’s go outside for a moment, okay?«

A little scared of what this could be about I nodded and stood up without saying anything. I took my coat and headed outside. »Why did you want to go outside?«, I asked once we were outside the building. He just smiled and grabbed my hand before starting to go and dragging me along.

We stopped in front of the fountain again. This time the musicians had already started playing. »I know this is not exactly the place where our relationship started but … I think it’s the perfect place to give you your present.«, Lance suddenly said with a soft smile. Then he turned to face me and looked at me for a moment while grabbing after something in the pocket of his coat.

So … That’s why he wanted to go outside. He wanted to give me a present. My eyes widened for a moment as I processed what was happening right now. »Wait!«, I exclaimed before he could pull out what he wanted to give me. »I want to give you your present first.«, I continued, a blush spreading on my cheeks. With shaking hands I pulled a small blue box out of the pocket of my coat and held it in front of him. His eyes widened a bit as he saw the box. He pulled his empty hand out of his pocket again and took the box, staring at it for a moment.

»I-It’s nothing special. Just … something I thought you’d like.« The words barely left my mouth as I watched him in anticipation. I had prepared this present for over half a year now and I really hoped he liked it.

Slowly he opened the box. My heart beat faster with every second I watched him. Then his eyes widened as he saw the inside. »Wha- … Keith … This is- Please tell me that this isn’t what it seems to be.« My heart skipped a beat at his reaction. Did I make a mistake, after all? »It’s okay if you don’t want to keep it.«, I mumbled and looked down to my feet. My attempt on hiding my disappointment had surely failed, too.

»Keith, this is crazy! You’re giving me a car! That’s way too expensive!«, he exclaimed. As I looked up into his face again, he wore an expression I wasn’t able to read. »It wasn’t that expensive. It’s the car you admired for so long already and as my boss said he can’t use it for spare parts he asked me if I wanted to work on it. It was pretty damaged, so I wasn’t sure if I could do anything with it but I somehow managed to build it back up again. I tested it and it works. My boss checked it, too. It’s safe for the street.«

Dumbfounded my boyfriend looked at me. He opened his mouth for a split second before shutting it again. For a moment it was silent between us. The street musicians played old and new Christmas songs right next to the with beautiful lights decorated fountain. And suddenly snow started to fall and land on Lance’s head. Without thinking I reached out to brush it off his hair and let my hand linger on his cheek afterwards.

»You built me a car?«, he asked almost soundless, still looking at me with wide eyes. I nodded as a reply while I caressed his cheek. Now his expression softened as he leaned into the touch and placed his hand on top of mine. »Thank you, Keith. I love it.«, he said, a soft expression showing. I could feel my heart skip a beat in relief and smiled fondly at him. The cold didn’t bother me in that moment at all.

»I guess it’s my turn now.«, the Cuban suddenly said and let go of my hand to grab after something in his pocket again. I pulled my arm back, too, and looked at him, wondering about the present he wanted to give me.

»I … still can’t believe that it’s been a year now.«, my boyfriend started, his hand still in his pocket. »A lot has happened in that year and a lot has changed but one thing that didn’t change are my feelings for you.«, he continued while looking at me with a fond expression. »They only grew with each and every day we spend together and each and every day we were apart.«

I could feel my face grew hotter with every word and maybe I imagined it but somehow the music seemed to match Lance’s actions. I glanced around a little to see that the musicians seemed to watch us and suddenly I got nervous. I didn’t like being watched.

»Keith, the past year was the most beautiful, the most changing, the most worrying and the most amazing year in my entire life so far. And I just know that with you every year will be like that.« Lance’s voice grew softer with every word that came out of his mouth. His ocean eyes looked right into mine and the things he said touched my heart on a level that was deeper than I could have ever imagined.

»You are the most amazing man I’ve ever met. You’ve managed to become the most important person in my life. And I caught myself missing a part of me whenever I’m not with you. All these things led to this moment.« I felt myself tearing up as I saw him slowly going down on one knee while pulling a small red box out of his pocket.

»Keith Kogane, man of my dreams, we are meant to be together. Will you marry me?«

A tear slowly ran down my face as I saw the ring he revealed by opening the box. A simple silver band with a small red gem in the middle of it. I had thought he cheated on me. I had thought he was already tired of me. And now he kneeled in front of me and proposed. I didn’t know what to say, nor what to do. I just stared at the ring with wide eyes, feeling stupid.

Then my eyes found on their own Lance’s gaze. He looked at me with a soft smile, patiently waiting for me to answer. Once again, I looked at the ring and only now I noticed that his hands were shaking. Not able to keep myself on my legs any longer I sank to my knees and looked at him. My face must have been already beet-red as I hugged him.

»I-Is that a … yes?«, he asked in a low voice, clearly nervous about my answer. I took a deep breath before finally replying. »Hell yes!« Right at that moment the music changed to something joyful and seemed a little louder than before.

Lance immediately hugged me tight and whispered around thousand »I love you«s into my ear before we stood up from the cold ground again. And finally, he slipped the ring onto my finger. I looked at the ring for a moment before pulling Lance into a soft kiss. The last year flashed by in front of my inner eye while the kiss lasted, and I caressed his cheeks with my thumbs.

This kiss didn’t last as long as our first kiss but the feelings floating through my body weren’t any less breathtaking. I didn’t know how often I had already kissed those lips, but I did know that I would never grow bored of feeling the sensation.

Even though the kiss ended, we stayed in position for a while longer. Our lips less than an inch away from each other, our foreheads touching.

 

* * *

 

»You seem happy.«, Shiro’s voice could suddenly be heard next to me as I watched Lance sitting on the couch in front of the Christmas tree, talking to Allura. The events of yesterday evening still fresh in mind I smiled softly and hummed in response. Like last year we spent Christmas Day at Shiro’s place. Allura had cooked a great meal and we had already exchanged presents. Lance and I hadn’t told them about our engagement yet and thanks to my beloved gloves I was able to hide the ring a little.

Now, however, I wanted to tell the whole world about it, so I loosened my crossed arms and positioned them in a way that Shiro just had to see the ring without it being too obvious. »Let’s just say … A lot happened yesterday. And … you might need a suit.« A grin spread on my face as I still watched Lance from the door.

Only as I didn’t hear anything from Shiro in a while I looked at him, only to notice that he stared at me and the ring with wide eyes. Then he suddenly hugged me. I yelped surprised and drew the others’ attention to us in the process.

»Did you tell him already?«, Lance asked, smiling cheerful. »Tell him what?«, Allura questioned, a little amused at the sight of Lance’s wide grin. »Nope, not directly, at least.«, I answered with a chuckle. »I’m so happy for you, Keith.«, Shiro said with a smile while slowly letting go of me again. A bright smile spread on my face as he looked at me.

»Okay. What’s going on?«, Allura asked again and now it was Lance’s turn to burst out the news. »We’re getting married!«

Allura immediately pulled Lance into a hug and started rambling about all kinds of wedding things while Shiro pulled me into the kitchen, so we could talk for a moment alone. »Everything turned out okay, huh?«, he said, still grinning while pouring us all a glass of wine.

»Yeah. Turns out the ›beautiful lady‹ was Pidge all along. He’s only teasing her because she grew her hair out. And she apparently helped him plan the proposal while he helped her plan her own. It was nothing to worry about, after all. She came here for business, so they met up while she was here.«

I watched him as he put the bottle of red wine away and filled the fourth glass with some kind of red juice. »I’m glad that you two are happy now.«, he said while handing me two glasses of red wine, taking the other two himself. Thinking, I looked at him and the glasses in his hands for a moment before grinning.

»There are news on your side, too, huh?« That my assumption was right was clearly visible in the blush on his face and the soft smile. »We don’t want to tell anyone yet. So … could you please keep it a secret?«, he asked and of course, I nodded with a bright smile. Then we went back to the others, where Lance and Allura were still talking about weddings.

Shiro and I gave our significant others their beverages, then we clinked glasses and celebrated Christmas together.

I couldn’t wait for the next year to come. I couldn’t wait to become a husband and uncle. But most of all I couldn’t wait to spend another amazing day with my beloved fiancé.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this.


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